Rome 2 Total War Review
The General, clad in his magnificent bronze armor, made his way through the ranks of men, his horse striding gracefully, the metallic scales of its armor softly clinking together with each step. He reached the front of the armies formation, and turned to face the massive host. The General cleared his throat and looked over the sea of soldiers in front of him, from the terrified yet excited youths in the front few ranks, to the grizzled veterans making up the vanguard.
"Romans!", he began shouting to be heard all down the line "tonight we repay a debt. A debt owed in blood, and one created on the banks of the Trebia, and at Cannae, where thousand of proud and true Romans found them selves slaughtered at the hands of Hannibal Barca, the monster of Carthage. Now, Barca is defeated, and we stand here at the gates of Carthage itself. Today we force the people of this infernal city to pay for their sins. Today, we repay the debt owed. Today we will burn this city to the ground, and salt the earth beneath it foundations. Never again shall these people rise, and we, true Romans all, with send these people to meet their false gods!"
A roar erupted from the mass of men, as they cheered and bellowed in anticipation for the upcoming battle, the General turned back to face the city, and raised his sword, thrusting it towards his sworn enemy, and the army at his back charged forth as a swarm of fury.
Call me naive, call me stupid, hell say that i was asking for too much. But this is what i was expecting when i picked up Rome 2 Total war, the sequel to one of my all time favorite games. I had seen the trailers and the game play footage, and from them i had been given the expectation that this would be experience with the game, an epic and sweeping journey. Something to make me think and to give me that elusive sense that I was truly building an empire. Much to my surprise however, I was met with a game with battles so arcade-like and simple that the only reason I lost the one battle i did was because the new control points system caused me to lose a battle for abandoning a meaningless point on the field for SIXTY SECONDS. A game wherein simply trading with another nation is nearly impossible to do because of the ridiculous conditions every nation has for doing so. This game... This freaking game is so horribly disappointing, it might take a while to go over my feelings towards it. So let me step back, and give somewhat of frame of reference for my experience.
Years ago, when I saw a game in my local game stop, Rome Total War. I was immediately interested, the classical era is by far my favorite historical time period, and massive, tactical battles sounded like something out of a dream. Some i dropped the twenty bucks down and hurried home to play. When i started up my first game I remember the sense of awe and challenge and wonder. I was in the unique position of growing the Roman Empire for its starting area in Italy to the greatest empire in the world. So I began with my conquest of Greece, then Macedon, and then the rest of the eastern world, Turkey soon fell under my dominion, and the empire reveled in the spoils of war, but the senate of Rome became suspicious. The people Rome loved me, perhaps too much. The other families of Rome where plotting against me! And The glorious City of Rome herself, threatened to disown her most loyal child! That is when i decided that the senate had no place in my empire, and neither did the other Roman families. So carefully, I set up a series of surprise attacks to cripple the other Roman families, and soon i laid siege to Rome herself. I remember the tension as i prepared to commit my forces to the battle, I remember actually taking upwards of 10 minutes just contemplating the enormity of the decision. This game hit me in places no game ever has. I love this game and still play it quite regularly. So when I heard about this crazy new game called Rome 2, the hype train was in full swing. Then I got the game.
The issues with this game are simply too numerous to blame on a rushed schedule or a flawed release. Allow me to compose a short list:
1. The battles.
So the battles in this game take on average about 6 minutes. Given that i run this game on a pretty mid range machine, this means that the LOADING SCREENS ARE LONGER THAN THE GODDAMN BATTLES. So why? Well for starters the game is horribly optimized. Apparently the people at CA assumed everyone in their fan base owns a super-computer. That is not the real issue however. The real issue lies in the local AI and the speed at which units give up and run. Moral is so low that when a unit just barely starts to lose a few men quickly, they break and run and the panic spreads so fast that whole battles can be determined by a small skirmish. The local AI also seems incapable keeping formation, and battles quickly deteriorate into boring, samey clumps that leave you unable to pull any real maneuvers.
2. Depth? What's that?
This game is too freaking easy. Way too easy. The AI is so stubborn and stupid they cant even be approached in a diplomatic matter. But why bother when all the battles are so easy its nearly impossible to lose.
3. Victory points
This is the worst idea to ever exist in any RTS ever. Holding an arbitrary point on the map for 60 SECONDS will never determine a battle. Ever. This device is stupid and game-breakingly frustrating.
4. Confusing
Can a game be both Shallow but overly complicated?Rome 2 says yes! So every stat in this game for main characters has been renamed and redesigned. The in game encyclopedia is worthless, and incapable of helping one figure out new stats and abilities and their meanings. How the hell does zeal effect my spy? My Admiral? I don't know, and the game is in no hurry to help me out.
5. Clutter
Almost done I swear. This game is a mess visually. The UI is huge and unwieldy as well as dense and seemingly impenetrable. In my 12 hours of game play I still have no idea how to view my families members and stats.
To sum up, Rome 2 isn't truly a bad game, (well its probably the worst in the series) It is definitely a soul crushingly disappointing game. The game is a buggy, poorly designed mess, and my only hope for it is that the patches for the game can improve the games bugs and AI, or even better, the modding community can swoop in and do something amazing with what little we have been given. For now the game is thoroughly unenjoyable without the company of some friends.
So this is my view on Rome 2 Total War, but if your'e one of my buds who has bought and played the game I'd love to hear your views. Also this review is something I've always wanted to do, so let me know how terrible it was!
